yesterday in the car my mom said “theres always the one gay twin out of a pair” and my twin brother and I shot a glance at one another because we’re both the gay twin
im fucking crying my therapist has these little mamushka dolls in her office and the first one is so pretty like
and then it just goes downhill from there
"If white people are so privileged why is there a Black Entertainment Network and no White Entertainment Network?"
"Men don’t have privilege, there are women’s only gyms!"
"Why isn’t there a campus centre for straight/cis people!?"
SAME REASONS WHY IN MARIO KART YOU DON’T GET BLUE SHELLS OR LIGHTNING BOLTS WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY IN FIRST PLACE, ASSBAG.
IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”
oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:
cracks me up every time
judge in court: everything u say will be held against u
judge: haha case dismissed